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< Entertainment >

New Movie Reviews

"Alone in the Dark"

by Michael Handorf
Handorf@comcast.net

Christian Slater. Tara Reid. Sci-fi/Horror.

Synopsis: Creatures from another dimension/world threaten to destroy ours. Christian Slater intervenes.

Review: Horrible. It seems as if they bought rough drafts of 3D computer-generated creatures from films like Hellboy and Deep Rising and tried to write a music video (er, movie) around them.

This is worse than both Boogeyman and Darkness, which I thought was going to be difficult to accomplish. I’m fairly certain that this has already been removed from the theatres, after a brief 2-week engagement.

Tara Reid embarrasses herself again. You’ve got to feel sorry for her – she isn’t polished enough to be a model, but she can’t act either. A promising career as a weathercaster may be in her future, albeit in a smaller, more rural market.

Stephen Dorff is also in this movie, and if he isn’t repeatedly a lightning rod for “Worst Movie of the Year”, I don’t know who is.

The best part of this movie? The song that was playing as the closing credits began to roll – Wish I Had an Angel by Finnish metal band Nightwish. That song is awesome, but they should have rewritten the song for this movie and titled it Wish I Had My 6 Bucks Back.

OVERALL GRADE: F

 

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AMERICAJR NETWORK :: COACH'S CORNER PRO SHOP :: SAND CREEK RECORDS :: LIFE MADE EASY