Why do I open my mailbox
and find a Lions Gate package only to find that Ulli Lommel is
still allowed to make films?
Every time I crack
open a box with that man's name on it, I die a little inside.
I can almost feel it shrivel up and wither away to a cracked,
bleeding nothingness as I come to the inevitable conclusion that
this monster is still given a shooting budget.
And, as the opening
menu rolls, scenes of women being tortured play out before me
and the back of the box cries its assent--"Borderline Cult"
is rated R. For strong brutal violence, torture, and language.
You know what to expect
by now...it's Ulli Lommel. Three serial killers band together
to kidnap and torture hundreds of women in the border town of
Juarez. That's it. No plot, no story, not even the basic rudiments
of narrative to break up Lommel's latest string of kidnap-and-torture.
Lemmel has apparently given up on even trying to put out a story
in favor of just pure, full-on, misogyny and torture. Which is
probably just as well--every time he's tried before I've mocked
his feeble, shoddy efforts mercilessly and he probably figures
it's better to just not bother.
Ah, but there is HOPE,
o my readership. Apparently you and those like you have been paying
attention. The torture porn subgenre has been losing ground of
late--after the box office slow death that was "Captivity",
it does not bode well for vile, one trick ponies like Ulli Lommel.
But if this is one
of Lommel's last--which I certainly hope it is--he's going out
in grand style even for him. The first five minutes will involve
what looks like needlenose pliers. In fact, Lommel's work will
be enough to make you wonder if he's getting kickbacks from Home
Depot by the end of things...he's got pliers and a foldable limb
saw and a shovel and just all manner of home improvement devices
put to their most diabolical of uses.
Cannibalizing his own
miserable body of work, "Borderline Cult" uses much
the same plot devices as "Black Dahlia", in which Lommel
brings in one victim, kills them, and then goes back for another,
over and over again, until he's run out of film or budget or even
just paper to write the horrible misery of a script he's shooting
from. He even goes so far as to lock them in the same chickenwire
Not even the ending
can dredge up a point for this vile bit of Lommel slop--it's mostly
just the last torture victims screaming their lives away interspersed
with a trip to a fortune teller before revealing the final "scores"
of so many other serial killers, and how they stack up against
our killer here.
The special features
include Spanish subtitles, audio commentary, a stills gallery,
deleted and alternate scenes, and trailers for "Borderline
Cult", "The Condemned", "Chicago Massacre:
Richard Speck", "Brutal", "Mummy Maniac",
"Haunted Boat", and Fearnet.com.
All in all, what a
complete waste of time this movie is. What a complete waste of
money and effort that could've gone into something with a story,
but no. No, this is a movie where a bunch of people die for no
clear or convincing reason, just three assholes in the desert
who wanted to get famous and be remembered for something.
What a complete waste
Directed by Ulli Lommel
Written by Ulli Lommel
Starring Elissa Dowling, Christian Behm, Patrick Faucette, De
Produced by Ulli Lommel, Nola Roeper
out the Video Store Guy on his own ever-lovin' website.
Featuring never before seen pieces exclusive to Reel Advice! (reel.panel2panel.com)