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"Drive Thru" DVD
"Drive Thru"
is going to be one of the best cases of grand theft movie you've
ever seen.
In the scenic and wholly
boring, at least to its teenage denizens, Orange County suburbia
of Blanca Carne (White Meat! Ha!), something's going very wrong
for some of those teenage denizens. Namely, they're getting killed.
And in an extremely messy, horror-movie-style fashion with loads
of dismemberment, lacerations, and blunt force trauma like no
tomorrow. Behind the killings is the mascot for the local burger
chain, Hella Burger.
Now, I don't know about
the rest of you, but I always sort of wondered if Ronald McDonald
or that creepy, creepy King from the Burger King commercials was
living some kind of secret double life where mass murder was just
foreplay. And after watching Horny the Clown--chop-happy, air-humping,
wisecracking Horny the Clown--in action, it made me look just
a little more askance as the perpetually plastic features of the
new King.
Which is probably what they were gunning for. And it's funny.
There's a lot of humor to be had in "Drive Thru"; watching
two stoners rampage through a ball pit before meeting their inevitable
date with Horny is inspired fun! No two ways about it! The white
rapper boy wannabe who makes Jamie Kennedy look downright ghetto-authentic
by comparison that's the first to die, the horrific prices at
the Hella Burger, the laugh-riot commercials from the Hella Burger
(the whole Triple-X Wings sketch is to die for)...there's no shortage
of fun in "Drive Thru". They even had the sheer comic
balls to throw in Morgan Spurlock, for crying out loud! Mr. "Super-Size-Me"
himself in a movie about a fast food killer? That's paying attention!
But it's what happens
when you find out why the killings are going on that you start
to wonder what's going on here. Especially given what I said in
the first sentence.
Because, as you'll
discover, Kuhn and Cowles are taking a whole lot of pages out
of the Wes "Nerve Gas" Craven playbook. When you put
"Drive Thru"in a side-by-side comparison with "Nightmare
on Elm Street", you're going to spot a hella lot of coincidences.
The wisecracking, superdeformed slasher with the superhuman capabilities,
for example. The fact that the children of local parents are the
ones being targeted--and the only ones, no less!
Now here's the really
sad part--Wes, buddy...you're screwed. Kuhn and Cowles have just
taken your best work and shut it down. "Drive Thru"
is almost identical to "Nightmare on Elm Street", only
it's wildly, wildly funnier. Sure, the effects are actually better
too, but that can't be held against NOES.
Yes, "Drive Thru"
is funny, bloody, and as cheesy as a Triple Hella Patty Melt,
but it's still kinda good. It's part Fred Kreuger, part Ronald
McDonald, and all fun.
The ending only goes
to prove that you should just not get involved with them Carpenter
women, because it's like mother like daughter around there--trust
me on that one--and there'll be twist enough to suggest that if
"Drive Thru 2: Drive Harder" isn't already being shot,
it's probably being planned. No, that's not advance news. That's
just me being snarky.
The special features
include some audio options, English and Spanish subtitles, English
closed captions and trailers for the After Dark Horrorfest, "Shadow
Walkers", "Curse of the Zodiac", "Diary of
a Cannibal", "Beneath Still Waters", "The
Lost Room" and Fearnet.com.
All in all, sure, it's
a ripoff. But when the ripoff is better than the original, what
can you do but call it good?
Drive
Thru
***
DVD
Directed by Shane Kuhn, Brendan Cowles
Written by Shane Kuhn, Brendan Cowles
Starring Leighton Meester, Nicholas D'Agosto, Melora Hardin, Larry
Joe Campbell
Produced by Chris Sievernich, Matthew Weaver, Matt Milich, Martin
Wiley
R
2007
91 mins
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