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"Dumbland" DVD
David Lynch isn't exactly
famous for making sense.
This is, after all, the
guy who stuck Robocop into a series of baffling events involving
hallucinogenic bug killer, typewriters built from insect carcasses,
and massive governmental conspiracies engineered by enormous bugs
in the midst of Islamic ports.
Based on the novel written
by a former heroin addict.
So naturally, it should
not come as even a lick of surprise that David Lynch's overall body
of work is just mind-boggling. And the mind continues to be boggled
in "Dumbland."
Though for a totally
different set of reasons.
"Dumbland"
is the excruciating story of a violent, abusive troglodyte of a
man living in suburbia and the events that comprise his thoroughly
pointless God-I-wish-they'd-all-just-get-hit-by-a-meteor-to-preserve-the-gene-pool
life.
And when I say thoroughly
pointless, I damn well MEAN thoroughly pointless. This movie's alleged
plot revolves around farting, child abuse, spousal abuse, farting,
screaming obscenities at poorly rendered helicopters, weird sexual
appetites involving ducks, and farting.
There is a LOT of farting
going on in "Dumbland." I don't recall this much farting
in "Beavis and Butthead Do America", and that movie treated
farting like a minor religious experience (remember the desert?).
"Dumbland"
is the single longest half-hour I've spent watching a movie in some
time. Every minute felt like three, and every minute felt like a
hook in my skin. I found myself agreeing with Lynch's own perception
of the film: "'Dumbland' is a crude, stupid, violent and absurd
series. If it is funny, it is funny because we see the absurdity
of it all." I agree totally. The sad part is, despite the absurdity,
it's STILL not that funny.
If there is television
in hell, then "Dumbland" is what's on. This is Thursdays
at nine, right after "Richard Nixon's Laugh-In," but before
"Cooking the Cajun Way! with Judas Iscariot."
I don't walk into a David
Lynch movie expecting things to make sense, but I don't think it's
too much to ask to expect a plot more coherent than "some guy
too stupid to live does a lot of stuff and eventually gets his in
the end." And he does, too.
The ending gives us a
lovely comeuppance for this pig-stupid throwback as he's both beaten
by relatives and a line of ants crawls into his full body cast.
All in all, avoid this
monstrousity. Avoid it at all costs. "Dumbland" is exactly
as advertised, and unless you're in a mood to waste half an hour
on some of the worst drivel put on DVD plastic, you will regret
putting this one in your player.
I did.
Dumbland
zero stars
DVD
Created by David Lynch
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