"Evil Breed: The Legend
of Samhain" DVD
You know, if ever there
were a "Death To America Showcase!" on Al-Jazeera, eventually,
"Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain" would show up on it.
In fact, it would probably
be their launch title.
Why the deliberately
political reference in a space you've come to know (and I hope to
God love by now) as a space devoted to movie coverage? Well, it's
"Evil Breed: The
Legend of Samhain" is one of the biggest examples I've seen
of cinematic foreigners who hate America I've seen since...well...since
probably "Black Hawk Down". And for a non-action film
that's really saying something.
See, "Evil Breed"
is about a whole bunch of Americans who go on a trip to Ireland,
act the part of typical asshole Americans when abroad, and then
get systematically slaughtered by a tribe of inbred cannibals living
in the Irish bogs.
Now, the first sign that
"Evil Breed" is going to be a total raving flop is not
in the first five minutes. Oh no...that comes when you look at the
At least two former porn
stars can be found in "Evil Breed". As if that weren't
bad enough, they dredged up the career of Richard Greico. You remember
him, right? The guy who was washed up back when Will Ferrell and
Chris Kattan were bouncing their heads around the Roxbury back in
the late nineties?
Yeah, THAT Richard Greico!
So whoooo boy. What we've
got here is the perfect storm for a bad movie--a lousy plotline
containing more cliches per minute than most romantic comedies and
a cast whose biggest assets have nothing to do with their time spent
When it takes less than
fifty seconds for the movie to segue into wholesale nudity from
the female cast, you know that you're not going to be looking at
a serious Oscar contender here.
The effects are frankly
about as bad. Twenty nine minutes fifty two seconds in proves to
be high-water mark for lousy effects--the fact that that's a dummy
is pretty obvious. And check out the unidentified organ removed
from a victim at the one hour one minute mark. That look like a
plastic bag full of red gelatin to anyone else?
However, to give credit
where credit is due, "Evil Breed" does manage to stumble
on an innovative way to prevent a "spot-the-wires" moment
at the one hour, two minute twelve second mark by only filming the
decapitation from the neck up.
And yet, I can't help
but wonder if there's some kind of massive joke being perpetrated
here. For instance, there's an opening scene when they describe
exactly what a B-movie character would do in a certain situation
surprisingly similar to what they're faced with. They then do exactly
what they describe, with the exact same results that they describe.
If they're going for
some kind of weird parody / irony sort of concept, then man did
they succeed. But even this is a limited sort of success--to successfully
mock the conventions, they have to actually USE the conventions,
and this gives them a limited amount of innovation available to
The ending is pretty
ludicrous, frankly. It's mostly a lot of killing and nudity, with
some gore and assorted disgusting thrown in for flavor. It looks
to be where most of the special effects budget was used. Even worse,
it uses all the standard conventions that I just railed about--including
"the boring virgin is the last to live", and a strange
twist that just didn't make much in the way of sense at all.
The special features
will be fantastically limited and only involve two deleted scenes,
along with trailers for "Green River Killer", "Tamara"
and "Saw 2".
All in all, "Evil
Breed: The Legend of Samhain" is either a spectacular practical
joke on its audience, or just a really bad joke on its audience,
depending on whether or not this was all actually meant as a joke.
Either way, frankly,
I'm not laughing.
GRADE: 1 stars *
The Legend of Samhain
Directed By Christian Viel
Written By Christian Viel
Starring Jenna Jameson, Ginger Lynn Allen, Chasey Lain, Richard
Produced By Christian Viel
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