in Torture" DVD
Someone over at Lions
Gate missed the memo "Captivity" originated.
did not look at the monster bomb that was "Captivity"
and notice, holy shit, torture porn doesn't make money any more!
How can I tell? Because
they released "Experiment in Torture".
in Torture" has a plotline like a pocket "Hostel",
and that already is a bad, bad sign. Several strippers, promised
a wad of cash, agree to go spend the weekend at the mountain retreat
of a wealthy guy who likes to watch. I'd use the phrase "wealthy
voyeur" but that comes RIGHT off the back of the box. Naturally--or
I wouldn't have bothered insulting this movie by calling it a
"Hostel" knockoff--this will result in hot chicks getting
tortured for roughly an hour.
What amazes me is that
it took FOUR monkeys pounding away at keyboards to type out this
lump of shit. Seriously. A "Hostel" knockoff with strippers
was entirely too damn complex for one of these chuckleheads to
knock out, so it took FOUR WRITERS. The back of the box makes
it clear--one did the story and it took THREE MORE to make it
My mind boggles. Am
I watching the first movie ever written by monkeys at keyboards?
Or am I watching a movie that required four people to make a low-budget
torture-porn "Hostel" ripoff? Either way, it's not good.
And indeed, it's not
good. Torture porn enthusiasts--all eight of you--will be waiting
almost a half hour for the torture to actually kick in. The first
half hour is mostly strippers at play and a tarot card reading
that actually spells out the rest of the plot. The torture, meanwhile,
is occasionally innovative and features blistering agents and
similar stuff. Which is kind of interesting, but let's face it,
kids...it's still just torture.
It's even pretty low-budget.
You can tell by the minimalist number of sets required to shoot
this--most of it takes place in and around a lake house.
The ending--as though
anyone actually gives a rat's ass about the ending of this piece
of shit aside from the fact that the ending signifies it's finally,
finally, over--is in the grandest Hobbesian tradition. It's nasty,
short and brutish.
The special features
include and trailers for "Night of the Living Dead 3D",
"Fido", "Holla", "Dark Storm" and,
ironically enough, "Captivity".
All in all, I can't
believe someone wasted time, money and footage making this. It's
godawful tripe of the worst kind, and I still can't believe it
took four people to write the plot for it. Needless to say, I
can't recommend it to anyone except those very, very few who still
watch movies like "Hostel".
DVDDirected by Sean MacArthur
Written by Sara Angressani, B.C. Hickey, George McCutcheon, Sean
Starring Brendan Connor, Jessica Montanez, Gina Martinez, Billie
Produced by B.C. Hickey, George McCutcheon
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