"Killer Pad" DVD
Now, I will admit--freely
admit!--that I had mixed feelings when I slipped a copy of "Killer
Pad" into my DVD player. More on that in a minute---first,
we've got to talk plot.
Three idiots are dumb
enough to move into a house at 666 Perdition Lane, sold to them
by Bobby Lee in drag. Despite the unheeded warnings of a friendly
Mexican continually shrieking about "el diablo"--which
the idiots mistake for references to hot sauce--they move into
the house, which they later discover is a portal to hell.
Now, about my mixed
feelings--I was confused. For some strange reason, they brought
in bizarre man-child Andy Milonakis to handle some starring duties.
As an occasional watcher of his self-titled MTV show who is regularly
baffled by why this little asshole even has a show to begin with,
why they would expect him to actually, you know, act is beyond
me. The little peahead surely has better things to do with his
time, and all of them make even less sense to rational thinking
people than his show does.
I was horrified. Stamped
right across the top of the box in big white letters on a field
of red was the ghastly phrase: "From a Producer of Dude,
Where's My Car?". This horrifies me. They WANTED to call
attention to this. They wanted to connect this to "Dude,
Where's My Car?". If you don't remember that one, the best
thing about it was Ashton Kutcher. And that's like saying "The
BEST part of my trip to Somalia was the dysentery".
And then, just when
my hope as at its lowest...a bright light out of nowhere. Four
very simple words you've already read: "Directed By Robert
Englund". Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund himself.
The man has not done a bad movie yet. He was even good in that
Mangler sequel, and that had no business being good!
Of course...when there
are bona fide shit jokes in the first minute...my hope just boils
off into a giant cloud that smells vaguely like burning plastic.
But then along comes Bobby Lee in drag...that's never not funny!
Which is the scariest
thing about "Killer Pad"--it's a riot. An almost continual
riot. It's self-referential, it's full of jokes, it even knows
when it's being stupid and will go so far as to make fun of itself.
It's the funniest horror movie I've loved since "Idle Hands",
and clearly, Robert Englund was the guy to handle it!
The ending manages
to show that, somehow, the power of KISS will save the world.
Which makes absolutely no sense, but it's funny, so I'll go with
The special features
include English and Spanish subtitles, audio options, a making-of
featurette and trailers for "Killer Pad", "Highlander:
The Source", "Catacombs", "When Evil Calls",
"The Legend of Butch and Sundance", and an advertisement
All in all, this...this
was just a riot. This was a laugh beyond anything I've seen lately,
and that's good enough.
by Robert Englund
by Dan Stoller
Daniel Franzese, Eric Jungmann, Shane McRae, Andy Milonakis
by Wayne Rice, Avi Chesed
out the Video Store Guy on his own ever-lovin' website.
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