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"Manda Bala (Send A Bullet)"
DVD
You
know, I knew there was something weird going on down in Brazil.
After a recent move by one of their country's judges to completely
ban in every way, shape and form imaginable the game Bully--and
I mean "ban" as in "from the entire country"
ban--something struck me as wrong.
Then I watched the half English / half Spanish language documentary
"Send A Bullet" and then I KNEW something weird was
going on.
"Send A Bullet", you see, is the story of crime and
corruption and plastic surgery in beautiful, extremely dangerous
Brazil. Including segments from one of the country's leading plastic
surgeons, who pioneered a way to make a replacement ear graft
in two parts from rib cartilege where before it took like eight,
as well as a kidnapping victim, the owner of a frog farm--yes,
I said "frog farm", and yes, you can actually grow frogs
for export--and an "entrepreneur" who goes by the name
Mr. M and drives a bulletproof car, "Send A Bullet"
will tell us more than we ever really wanted to know about Brazil's
many, many problems.
The film, which is apparently legally constrained from being shown
in Brazil for fairly obvious reasons (like it makes them look
like complete morons who can't manage crime in their own country),
is actually pretty eye-opening, if a bit dry. I had no idea--not
one!--that it was somehow just UNIMAGINABLE to drive in Sao Paulo
without a bulletproof car. See, when I think of "unimaginable"
in driving, I think, like, it's UNIMAGINABLE to drive without
my pants on. Or maybe it's UNIMAGINABLE to drive without my Dave
Barry books on tape. The idea of it being UNIMAGINABLE to drive
without a car that will deflect small arms fire, now that's UNIMAGINABLE.
The fact that politicians in office are exempt from civilian courts
in Brazil is also a huge eye-opener that I bet lots of politicians
up here wish were the case. Forget it, boys and girls, not a CHANCE.
But while all of that is definitely true and eye-opening, it's
also extremely dull. Cohn's method of filming translators in the
same shot as the people he talks with is tiresome at best. I don't
need to listen to the actual Spanish. No hablo Espanol, Senor
Cohn. I don't speak Spanish. For all I know these guys are telling
you what a spectacular moron you are and your translators are
making it all up. But at any rate, roughly half your movie is
incomprehensible to me, and that definitely doesn't make for good
watching.
However, what you're showing is definitely new and unique--honestly,
I had no idea that one single government agent (allegedly) stole
roughly three billion dollars in government money by himself.
That's kinda amazing. Normally it takes whole corporations to
steal that kind of loot.
So if you're jonesing for dry, fact-laden data about Brazil's
hugely corrupt government, and don't mind listening to people
speak Spanish, then "Send A Bullet" is just what you've
been waiting for.
Manda
Bala (Send A Bullet)
**
DVD
Directed by Jason Cohn
Written by Jason Cohn
Produced by Joey Frank, Jason Cohn, Jared Goldman
NR
2007
82 mins
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