AMERICAJR NETWORK :: COACH'S CORNER PRO SHOP :: SAND CREEK RECORDS :: LIFE MADE EASY

DETROIT, MICHIGAN USA << >> LIVE STOCK TICKER

OUR HOMEPAGE

NEWS
Current News Index
Local News
National News
Downtown Hoedown
Pictures (NEW)
Meet the Web Team
Metro Detroit Traffic Info
Detroit Auto Show
SPORTS
Current Sports Index
Schedules and Results
NHL Hockey
NBA/NCAA Basketball
NASCAR Auto Racing
Sports Pictures
WEATHER
Weather Index
LIVE Detroit Radar
LIVE Regional Radar
U.S. Forecasts
TRIVIA
Jeopardy! Trivia
Archived Trivia
ENTERTAINMENT
Entertainment Index
New Movie Releases
New Movie Reviews
New CD Releases
New Music Reviews
Video Game Reviews
Detroit Concert Listing
Restaurant Reviews
TV Award Shows
Downtown Hoedown
YOUR OPINION
Our Message Boards
Become a Member
Testimonials
GUESTBOOK
Sign Guestbook
View Guestbook
ABOUT US
Read About Our History
Corporate Thank You's
Advertise on Our Site
CONTESTS
Register to Win Prizes
Meet All Our Winners
SITEMAP
Listing of Every Page
AMERICAJR EMAIL
Email Login
Password
New users
sign up!
 
Find a Job
Keywords:
Location:
Job category:

< Entertainment >

New Movie Reviews

"Woods of Evil" DVD

by Steve Anderson
thevideostoreguy@columnist.com

The woods are alive with the sounds of a surprisingly mundane evil here in the “Woods of Evil”.

So what we’ve got here, and it’s probably not going to come as much of a surprise given the title, are a whole lot of people going missing in the middle of a forest somewhere in Jersey. And for a while, people stop vanishing, until right about now.

Which is basically about the time when someone’s dumb enough to go into Jersey. Let’s face it—Jersey isn’t what you’d call a survivable horror movie destination. “The Last Broadcast” and the various other Jersey Devil inspired movies have proven that point in abundance.

Oh, and it gets worse. A down-on-his-luck-on-probation convict named Ray and his buddies Dice and Paco are about to kidnap the two rich young daughters of major real estate movers and hide them in--surprise!--the woods where everybody and his mother has been disappearing lately.

Needless to say, something’s going on in those woods that has absolutely nothing to do with Ray and company’s kidnap plot.

It sounds mediocre. It looks mediocre. And you’re probably not going to be any too surprised when I tell you that’s exactly what it is—mediocre. It’s trictly run of the mill. Sure, it does a fair job at building suspense—it takes the movie a good long while to actually show what’s behind all the evil in the woods—but it also has some pretty shoddy acting and some decent sized plot holes.

For instance, twelve minutes and one second in, we get the most pointless death in the movie as a character trips and falls, totally standard operation, and then spends the rest of her life (about fifteen seconds) scooting away on her rear while something advances on her and kills her with a rock. A rock. We don’t get much more low-tech than this, and even better, she’s left a car maybe fifty feet away from her. All she’d have to do to get away clean is get up and run. But no—all we get is scoot and scream.

Check out the “gifted” acting as a man gets a knife stuck in his left side, begins moaning, and clutches his right side. There’s a knife handle sticking out of his left side, but he’s moaning and gripping his right side like the knife’s on the totally opposite side of his body.

And for a finale…try out the sequence at the fifty seven minute four second mark as someone forgot to secure the camera. It’s bouncing. The shot is bouncing.

The ending is…wow. Just wow. It’s a fantastically anticlimactic ending as we discover the true source of the evil in the “Woods of Evil”….

…it’s a fat man.

A fat man with an axe.

Words cannot describe how astonished and yet disappointed I am by this development. The evil in the Jersey woods that claimed so many lives and terrorized the most terrifying state in the Union is a fat guy with an axe!

Wow. Again.

The special features are just trailers for “Lost Things”, “The Evil One”, “The Wickeds”, “Tears of Kali”, “The Dawn”, and “Zombie Night”.

All in all, “Woods of Evil” is a mundane suspense thriller with its share of triumphs and troubles. Worth a rental, especially if everything you want to see is out already and you just need a fast horror fix.

Woods of Evil
**
DVD

Directed by Conrad Glover

Written by Conrad Glover

Starring Conrad Glover, Jaime Velez, Christopher Farmer, Nicholl Jones

Produced by Christine Y. Dynan, Conrad Glover

NR
85 mins
2006

The Video Store Guy knows the best movies you've never seen. Check his Reel Advice weekly at www.monstersandcritics.com

You can join the web team by writing an article and emailing it to americajr@americajr.com. We are looking for reviews of music, movies, video games and sports. The minimum is three paragraphs. Thanks for all your help!

Here's Your Benefits:

  • Your article is published on AmericaJR.com with your name
  • You will get your own email address @AmericaJR.com
  • After five stories, you get a FREE AmericaJR.com T-shirt

>> Bookmark This Site Now! <<

 

doteasy.com - free web hosting. Free hosting with no banners.

 

BACK TO THE AMERICAJR ONLINE HOMEPAGE

Copyright © 2006 AmericaJR.com. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication or use of Text, Site Template, Graphics and or Site Design is Prohibited by Federal and International laws. See our Notice/Disclaimer.

AMERICAJR NETWORK :: COACH'S CORNER PRO SHOP :: SAND CREEK RECORDS :: LIFE MADE EASY