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The Volt Steals The Thunder at the 2011 NAIAS

PHOTO BY JASON RZUCIDLO / ©AMERICAJR.com

GM hired a Michigander model to help promote the Volt.
by Mike Wrathell
mwrathell@yahoo.com

 

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DETROIT -- Arriving a few decades later than it should have, GM, or ObamaMotors if you prefer, now has a new sensation on its hands, to allude to INXS’s best song. Hot models that would make Paris Hilton feel envy were peppered with questions about the stylish North American Car of the Year that comes in black, crystal red, cyber gray, silver ice, viridian joule and white diamond.

One shade of the silver Volt has some green in it, one of the Michigander models told me. Being an artist of some note (well, at least Wikipedia thinks so….), I looked at that Volt right after she told me that and searched for green in the silver. Sadly, I could not see it, but, in my defense, I was about 20 feet away from it at the time. I had just been in it, though, so I might not be able to go to the Left Bank if I ever get to Paris.

The Volt is as quiet as a church mouse, so be sure to know where the horn is and get used to using it if you happen to buy one of these puppies. Of course, every time you beep the horn, or go up a hill, or use the radio, or charge your cellphone in the USB port located between the two front seats, or use the heat or the A/C, you are lessening the life span of the current charge. Not to worry, though, the Volt lets you know how much charge you have left and also tells you when is the best time of day to recharge your battery so as to be the least expensive and also not stress the Grid.

There was one man at the industry preview on Wednesday, January 12, 2011 at Cobo Center who had some weird instrument that looked sort of like a Brannock Device, you know, those things at the shoe store. Charles Brannock invented it in Syracuse, New York and now a lot of foreign knockoffs threaten to shut down the company. They make them in Liverpool now.

It was sort of obscene as that man measured the steering wheel of the Volt. I also saw two men molesting another Volt. One was taking pictures of it as he sat in the driver’s seat, while the man in the passenger seat was bent down and seemed to be licking the floor mat of the passenger side or something. I asked them if they worked for GM, and the man in the passenger seat embarrassedly sat up like a human being, looked me in the eye, and said yes. I think he was lying through his teeth. But, then again, God did not strike him down with a lightning bolt from above….

If you can afford the $32,780 price tag (after rebates) of the Volt, and I know it is a bit re-Volting right now, you would be doing not only GM, ObamaMotors, the national debt, and America in general a big favor, you would be helping the entire Earth. Electric cars might save the atmosphere. The hole in the ozone over Antarctica and all. China, too, is trying to go electric. BYD has two electric cars at the auto show. One, the e6, is purely electric, unlike the Volt and BYD’s F3DM, which both also include a combustible engine. I will be writing an article soon about China and their quest for electrification. Same net page, same net link. Give me a few days to ruminate. It will be worth the wait. Trust me.

All the same, I give GM an “A” for the Volt and hope it succeeds. I also give GM an “A” for hiring some very knowledgeable and beautiful models to help promote the Volt. Some of them are even Michiganders. Imagine that! And before you correct me and say “Michiganian,” our new Governor says Michigander, and none other than Abe Lincoln coined the term “Michigander.” Tell your state senator and state rep to make Michigander our official designation again. It is absurd to think that the term Michigander is offensive because it is not gender-neutral! Now that the Republicans are in charge of Lansing, maybe it can happen. Supposedly, the elephants are not as enamored of the politically correct; and with their long memory, they might remember the term. Michiganders, unite! Don’t be a dolt, give Lansing a jolt, and be sure to buy a Volt!

Related Story: China's Road to Electrification Unveiled at the 2011 NAIAS

 

 

 

PHOTO BY JASON RZUCIDLO / ©AMERICAJR.com

The center console monitor displays how energy efficient you are driving.

 

PHOTO BY JASON RZUCIDLO / ©AMERICAJR.com

A cool looking design on the front passenger door.

 

PHOTO BY JASON RZUCIDLO / ©AMERICAJR.com

The right rear taillight on the Chevrolet Volt.

 

PHOTO BY JASON RZUCIDLO / ©AMERICAJR.com

This screen on the center console tells the driver how long it will take to charge.

 

 

This page was last updated on Thu, January 20, 2011 0:27 AM

 

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