DETROIT
-- I decided to go to back to the auto show on a whim.
I had just gotten out of court and parked at the Greektown Casino.
Then, I had lunch at Loco's Tex-Mex Grille, and had a nice chat
with Lori, the bartender. She even said she would vote for me
for Macomb County Prosecutor. The lunch special was pretty good
and so was the draft Dos Equis Dark with limes on the side of
the tall glass.
I took the
People Mover over to Cobo Center and got my press credentials,
finally walking into the show and going to the Jeep exhibit first.
I had to see the new Rubicon. It was golden rod in color with
a stickshift. The Rubicon is a kind of Wrangler. Top shelf. If
you ever want to go on the logging roads of the Cascades, it would
be an excellent choice of vehicle. I lived in Oregon for four
and half years. Trust me.
Make sure
you go to Frog Lake by Mt. Hood. LOL!
I tried to
sit down in a new Dart, but it was locked. The grey Dart looked
cool. They have a Rallye model of Dart. Yeah, not Rally. Rallye.
How clever. Not. LOL!
Next I went
over to the smart cars. Daimler AG makes them. They are little
electric cars whose batteries even charge when the car brakes.
How cool is that? You still have to plug it in now and then, but
the little brake trick delays that need a tad. They come in a
wide variety of cool designs.
Next I decided
to go see Obama Motors, I mean, GM, and in the distance I saw
a giant Cadillac logo, sans the ducks. Not sure what donkeys have
against ducks.
I saw a really
big, black Escalade. The trunks were up on all the Escalades.
Michiganders have a obsession with the rear ends of new cars.
Ask Freud what that means if you see him. None of the hoods were
open. But a plethora of rear ends. I guess people are thinking
about space. I thought what a great vehicle to go to Alaska with
in the middle of winter to see the Northern Lights. But if the
Straits of Hormuz are closed, the cost to fill the tank on that
sucker would be as scary as Ronald McDonald in a tutu.
Still, you
need a 4x4 in the winters of Alaska; they don't hurt in the U.P.,
either.
Next up were
the GMC SUVs like the Denali. They were nice, too.
The all-new
2013 Malibu Eco had a nice display with a clean-cut, twentysomething
male model/speaker who looked everyone listening in the eye as
he highlighted the outstanding attributes of the Malibu next to
him on a rotating platform. It has a lithium-ion battery in the
trunk that runs the systems when the car is not running. It is
not a hybrid, but it does save a smidgen of energy. Sort of like
a pea in a sea of mattresses -- but it is better than nothing.
It has regenerative braking like the Smart car, too. Internet
radio, lots of cool features, really. I wouldn't mind having one.
I always buy American, too. When I get a spare 26K, I just might
pony up. I wonder if Bill Ayers has one.
The guy looked
like he just stepped out of Glee, and he assured us that
soon a new model of Malibu would be released without the lithium-ion
battery, giving customers more trunk space. I don't think he noticed
the irony of plugging a future car by GM that will be less
environmentally-friendly as an evolutionary design – or,
at least a pleasant regression to an earlier, more hoggish time.
No disrespect to pigs,who they say are smarter than dogs. Who
is "they," you say? Why, none other than Porky Pig!
LOL! I bet cats are smarter, though. I read Secrets of
the Cat by Barbara Holland. Mercury did not name a car
after a dog or a pig, ya know.... There is no Dodge Dingo. I love
dogs, don't get me wrong. I had a weimaraner named Misty as a
kid. She had amber eyes. So cool. Don't get me going on Impalas....
And I think
it would be très cool to have a pet pig; I must
admit.
Lastly, I
checked out the new Chevy Spark. It is the newest Chevy, smaller
than the Sonic. Then the Cruze. Next up is the Malibu. Then the
Impala is the biggest Chevy. No more Caprice. No more Pontiac.
No Olds. No more old stock. It is as worthless as Confederate
money. No bailout for those who owned those shares as they are
not bankers, viz., the 1 percent. Nope, just ordinary, hard-working
Americans. The lowest strata on the totem pole, apparently.
By this time,
that Dos Equis was telling me to skip the Ford exhibit. Sorry,
Ford. Don't feel bad. I missed the Maserati exhibit, too. And
Mercedes.
Oh, by the
way, cars are not the only good-looking models at the show. It
is worth a ride on the People Mover to see the show. Bring six
quarters per person to save a lot of bother. Loco's might run
out of quarters, you know.
