AMERICAJR NETWORK :: COACH'S CORNER PRO SHOP :: SAND CREEK RECORDS :: LIFE MADE EASY

:: DETROIT, MICHIGAN USA << >> LIVE STOCK TICKER :: MESSAGE BOARDS ::
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

COPYRIGHT

© 2007 AmericaJR.com.
All Rights Reserved.

Unauthorized duplication or use of Text, Photos, Videos, Site Template, Graphics and or Site Design is Prohibited by Federal and International laws. See our Notice/Disclaimer and Privacy Policy.
 

AMERICAJR EMAIL

Email Login
Password
New users
sign up!

Detroit's Only FREE E-mail Provider

 
Find a Job
Keywords:
Location:
Job category:

<< Sports >>

Detroit Tigers MLB Baseball Team News

Thursday, 28 June, 2007 7:49 PM

A Time To Yank: A Sob Story from Tiger Town

PHOTO BY MIKE WRATHELL / AMERICAJR.com

Craig Monroe plays left field for the Detroit Tigers.

By Mike Wrathell
mwrathell@yahoo.com

Back in 2003, I went to see The Tigers on my birthday with my dad, my brother, my sister, and my two nieces at Comerica Park. It was the last game I would ever go to with my dad, a retired Detroit police sergeant nicknamed Ratman, who passed away in 2004.

We were winning late in the game when Alan Trammell decided to put in Fernando Rodney, who put on a few runners before giving up a gargantuan home run that might have gone 500 feet, maybe 500 yards, maybe 500 meters!

Now, three years after his death, I decided to take my girlfriend to the game on my birthday, June 13th. Maybe the Olsen Twins were watching over some beer, too, for their 21st birthday bash. We were beating Milwaukee 1 to nothing in a real nail-biter when Jim Leland thought to put in Fernando Rodney.

He got the first guy he faced out, then the next guy got a hit. The next guy sent the ball to the moon and this time it soared right past us along the third base line. I don't mean to complain, but once Mr. Rodney puts the tying run on base, and the go-ahead run is at-bat, and it is my birthday, the formula has been set.

Thusly, please, next time we play a home game on June 28th, can we maybe change pitchers once the reliever on the mound has put the tying run on base? I mean, we had two guys warming up for what? For nothing? I know Jim Leland is a baseball mastermind, a guru, a great swami of swat, but think of the Olsen Twins, think of me, a guy born in Detroit, an artist trying to show his gal a good time!

I know I am whining a bit here, but enough is enough. I mean, I know it was a crummy thing to have Bud Selig yank the Brewers out of the American League, and he should not be able to be both owner and commissioner til the last snowflake on Mt. Kilimanjaro melts, but why take it out on the poor twins? Don't you want them to be Tigers fans? We could be America's team if we could phase out the whole self-destruct-in-the-7th-or-8th thing....

No one likes the Yankees, so we have an in, I'm telling you!

And, we have the cutest seagulls in baseball! Just ask Craig Monroe, who got to hang out with them in left field until they left once the sun set and Venus popped out in the dark azure Western sky.

We have a chance this year. We are more seasoned. Kenny Rogers is back. Just get him some clear, non-shining pine tar! Zumaya might be back with his 103 mph fastball. We are hitting like mad, but for June 13th. It would be a shame to lose again due to our not wanting to yank a reliever who is falling apart before our eyes.

I beseech you, Mr. Leland! Bless Fernando Rodney's and Todd Jones's little hearts, but if they are loading up the bases, and falling apart before our very eyes, pay for them to see Woody Allen's shrink, but don't let them take it out on us!

If we have to shell out some Little Caesar's money on a premier closer, do it! I will order only Little Caesar's! No more Jets! No more Cottage Inn! Tell me what you want! Just don't leave in Rodney when he is melting right in front of us! Please! Pretty please with soft brown sugar on it from a freshly-opened plastic bag!

You know, there is a rumor The Olsen Twins might be the first Bond girls/twins! How cool would it be if they wore Tigers tees as they crawled into Daniel Craig's bed? It can only happen if we win this year's World Series. So, Mr. Leland, there is a time to yank, and you have to be ready for it at a moment's notice!

Go Tigers!



PHOTO BY MIKE WRATHELL / AMERICAJR.com

Sean Casey runs to first base.

 

PHOTO BY MIKE WRATHELL / AMERICAJR.com

This Tigers fan dressed up like the Phantom.

 

 

You can join the web team by writing an article and emailing it to americajr@americajr.com. We are looking for reviews of music, movies, video games and sports. Thanks for all your help!

Here's Your Benefits:

  • Your article is published on AmericaJR.com with your name
  • You will get your own email address @AmericaJR.com
  • After five stories, you get a FREE AmericaJR.com T-shirt
  • After ten stories, you will get 500 FREE business cards

>> Bookmark This Site Now! <<

 

doteasy.com - free web hosting. Free hosting with no banners.

 

BACK TO THE AMERICAJR ONLINE HOMEPAGE

Copyright © 2007 AmericaJR.com. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication or use of Text, Site Template, Graphics and or Site Design is Prohibited by Federal and International laws. See our Notice/Disclaimer.

AMERICAJR NETWORK :: COACH'S CORNER PRO SHOP :: SAND CREEK RECORDS :: LIFE MADE EASY